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(c) Elliott Publishing.

BOHICA
James Wysong · November 17, 2004

Many responded to last week's short reference on airline acronyms, so just for fun, I thought I would print a full list this week. Enjoy.

AA (American Airlines) - Always Awful, A Mere Can.

ALITALIA - Air Line In Tokyo And Luggage In Amsterdam, Always Late In Takeoff Always Late In Arrival.

BOAC - Better On A Camel.

BA (British Airways) - Bad Attitude, Bloody Awful.

CA (China Airlines) - Choose Another.

CONTINENTAL - Contemptible, Incontinent-al.

DELTA - Departing Even Later Than Expected, Divert Everyone's Luggage To Atlanta.

EL AL - Every Landing Always Late.

JAT (Yugoslav Airlines) - Joke About Time.

KLM - Keeps Losing Money, Keeps Luggage Missing. (One reader responded with the real definition of Koningklike Luchtvaart Maatschapaij, which means Royal Airline Company.)

LOT- (Polish Airlines) - Last One There, Luggage On Tarmac.

NORTHWEST- Northworst.

PAN AM - Plan Arriving Nervous And Mad.

PIA (Pakistan Intl. Air) - Panic In Air, Please Inform Allah.

QANTAS - Queens And Nerds Trained As Stewards.

SAS - Such A Shame.

SABENA - Such A Bad Experience, Never Again.

SIA (Singapore) - So Incredible, Aah! (They even get the nice acronym).

SONG - Scared Of Never Going.

TACA - Take A Chance Airlines.

TAP (Portuguese) - Take Another Plane.

TED - Tired Every Departure. Debt pronounced backwards. The end of United.

THAI AIR - Tired of Hating Airline Incompetence, Thigh Hair.

TWA - The Worst Airline, Try Walking Across, Took Wrong Airline.

USAIR - Unfortunately, Still Awful In Reality.

UNITED AIR - Unconsciously Never Intending To Exit Debt, Always In Reorganization.

An employee from an airline currently in Chapter 11 told me that her airline was shouting "BOHICA, BOHICA, BOHICA," in regard to employee concessions. Bend Over Here It Comes Again.

I guess there is a lot of that going around these days.

James Wysong has worked as a flight attendant with two major international carriers during the past fifteen years. He is the author of the "The Plane Truth: Shift Happens at 35,000 Feet" and "The Air Traveler's Survival Guide." For more information about Frank or his books, see his Web site or e-mail him.