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Looking For Answers
James Wysong · November 9, 2004

During the past year I've fielded many of your questions about air travel. But with the state of the airline industry as it is these days, I have a few questions for you.

Your ticket price already includes surcharges for security, airport usage, and now for fuel. What's next, an "incompetent management" surcharge? Or is that just another word for employee concessions?

Does Delta really stand for Divert Everyone's Luggage To Atlanta?

I guess no more than UAL stands for U Are Late.

And what, exactly, does KLM stand for?

Has there ever been an air travel movie where the male flight attendant character wasn't gay? Not that there is anything wrong with that, it's just that it would be nice to see some balance every now and then.

Okay, let me get this straight. Fuel prices are at record highs, all airlines (except one) are losing money and are in deep financial trouble. If demand is soaring, why are ticket prices at an all-time low?

Is it just a coincidence that the two top airlines currently in Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection had something, or should I say someone, in common? Who's afraid of the big bad Wolfe?

I know I am.

It's hard for me to believe that a CEO of an airline can stand up in front of a bankruptcy judge and plead that it is necessary for his company to terminate all of the employees' pensions but make no mention of his $5 million pension plan.

Why doesn't the judge cut his as well? Lead by example, I say.

Why would anyone stay in a job that has no chance of advancement, no pension, bad hours and a bleak future?

Wait a minute, maybe I should be asking myself that question.

Why do passengers feel the need to remind me that my airline is no better than a low-cost carrier when their ticket price is the same?

Is anyone else worried about the airline trend of terminating employee pensions? You may say that it doesn't affect your line of work, but these things have a way of spreading fast. So if pensions go, and we can't really count on social security, are we going to be a country of food stamps and Medicare?

The infamous mile-high club still exists as a popular daring place to get intimate, but the next time you are on a longer flight take a good look inside the lavatory. With the smell, germs, and size, isn't it the last place you would get that urge? Or am I just getting older?

Recently, I was disciplined for taking action against a passenger in-flight watching a pornographic movie on his portable DVD player. I told him discreetly to stop. He replied that he had a right to watch what he wanted. I took it away from him when he refused to turn it off.

I received a few positive comments from the seats nearby but his complaint letter and threat of a lawsuit got him an apology letter and a free upgrade the next time he flew. Was I wrong? And more importantly does anyone ever watch those movies for the actual plot?

On a similar note, why don't passengers write in when they witness something positive? Some do, but passenger complaints outnumber the commendations 99 to 1. We need your support on the good deeds as well.

Why didn't anyone learn from Pan Am's mistakes?

And more to the point, why didn't I?

James Wysong has worked as a flight attendant with two major international carriers during the past fifteen years. He is the author of the "The Plane Truth: Shift Happens at 35,000 Feet" and "The Air Traveler's Survival Guide." For more information about Frank or his books, see his Web site or e-mail him.